The Island lost a unique and beloved elder on Friday, a woman not afraid to drink deeply of all life had to offer, to voice her feisty opinions, to poke fun but also laugh at her own foibles, to proudly be her authentic self. “Look out for Numero Uno,” she told her grandchildren, “because no one else will.” Right up to the very end, sharp as a tack, she laughed as her body failed her, and she passed on her own terms, in her own home in Vineyard Haven, surrounded by children, grandchildren, and her cherished caregiver Doris.
Doreen was born in Toronto in 1931 to first-generation immigrants, Dora Phillips from Wales and Robert Downey from County Leitrim, Ireland. A child of the Great Depression, often wearing shoes until they needed cardboard to augment the soles, she came of age during the six years of upheaval, rationing, and sacrifice of the Second World War. Through it all, she never lost her spirit, her curiosity, or her drive. While her father supported his family riding his bicycle or public transportation across the wintry city every day to work as a welder, Doreen was able to earn a B.A. in education from the University of Toronto, and later a master’s in French literature from Marquette.
She married George Kinsman at the age of 24, and raised four children while living in Milwaukee, Brussels, Darien, and Toronto. Doreen taught bilingual kindergarten and first grade for the Toronto Board of Education for 34 years, before retiring as the most senior educator in the city school system.
The family first came to Martha’s Vineyard in 1978, and purchased Capt. Ralph Packer’s house on Main Street. Doreen spent summers and every possible weekend with her children in what became her favorite home in all the world. She maintained her membership in the Vineyard Haven Yacht Club right up to her last days, to swim, sunbathe, and enjoy lively conversations with her longtime friends. Doreen worked as a notorious substitute teacher at the Martha’s Vineyard Regional High School until she was 80, ran her home as a “B no B” (bed with no breakfast) for decades, and managed rental properties she and her husband bought back when the Island was still affordable for the middle class. She enjoyed her five grandchildren, all but one of whom grew up on the Island, and they all adored their fun and generous Nana.
Doreen read voraciously, and at one time was active in six book groups and a French club. She was fluent in French, and was obsessively learning Spanish through Duolingo up until her last week. She loved to debate politics and the state of the world, play trivia, spar over local affairs, and to reminisce on changes she had experienced over her 93 years on the planet. She loved her Unitarian Church, right up the street from her home, and the many and deep connections she found there. Doreen loved to walk the Chop with friends at a rapid clip, a pace which slowed eventually, but which she and Doris would still do as long as Doreen could manage. When she wasn’t up for walking, she would rather watch “Judge Judy” or “Jeopardy” (often outsmarting the contestants). Her mind never failed her, and few who met her could guess her age.
Travel and food (especially chocolate) were Doreen’s biggest passions. She loved art, history, fine things, and luxury, so naturally gravitated to cruises with the Cunard Line, especially aboard her favorite, the Queen Victoria, eventually circumnavigating three separate times, and she visited ports all over the world. Her girls would take turns with her aboard the ships when she couldn’t wrangle another companion. And when not traveling, Doreen became a regular patron at the Vineyard’s fine restaurants and chocolate shops.
Most of all, Doreen loved her grandchildren. She was so proud of all of them. She saw and celebrated each and every one of them, their accomplishments and their characters. She was never judgmental of their choices, and always encouraged and supported their strengths. And her great-grandsons Will and Charlie were the apple of her eye.
Doreen is survived by her children, Kate and Joe Grillo, Kelly Minor, Drew and Chrissy Kinsman, and Kristi and Gary Maynard; her grandchildren, Joey, Alex, and Tony, and their wives Whitney, Ginny, and Danielle Kinsman; and Clara and great-grandsons Will and Charlie.
Her favorite motto: “To thine own self be true.”
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